i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
birth control should be required to get into college
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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