are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
