I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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