What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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