Barsexuality is the new black.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
