I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
