I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
