come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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