I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just forgot I was standing up.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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