how can u be prego again
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize