She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
