Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
