Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
