I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
