dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
how drunk are you?
Several
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
