Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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