Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
