awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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