At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think i have herpe
just one?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
