One girl and one boy is just not enough.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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