Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
