reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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