i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
