I wish I only lived at night.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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