spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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