i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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