What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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