I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
