There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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