girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize