So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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