Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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