I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
