it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have fence marks all over my body
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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