I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
