What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
