One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
