worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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