Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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