This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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