its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
