At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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