are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my sisters under your porch take her home
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
