True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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