Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
