Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
barbara walters just said penis...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
