my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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