Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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