Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I pour the whiskey from now on
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
