garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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