1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
