whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize