she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
