I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
