I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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