windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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