let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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