I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize