Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
