just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
