No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
