Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You made out with two different species that night
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
