Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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