Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
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