Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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