I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
