The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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