New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
