I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
