Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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