Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize