I can text with my tongue
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
