I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
