i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I could fuck to npr.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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