I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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