Yo dont text me then not text me
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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