I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
