im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
