I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
