What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
