Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
